Goodness Blog

The mindf*ck of 'being alone.'

My sister Adrienne and I have started walking in the morning. Yep, walking. Around our town of St. Brieux, Saskatchewan.

We just started walking, as Adrienne moved in with me just a couple of weeks ago. I've lived alone since last June (since my ex left), and Adrienne recently left Saskatoon to figure out her next steps. We thought: 'Hey, let's live together! It'll be fun.'

And it has been. It's been really good for the soul. Our morning walks have provided laughter and tears and a chance to start the day right.

But we laugh: if someone would have told us in high school that we'd both be living in our home town of St. Brieux, Saskatchewan...at the age of 34 (almost 35, June 1st baby)...both single? We would have either: 1) cried or 2) laughed with glee.

While neither of us could have predicted our journeys...I don't think either of us would change them for the world. The ups and downs of the last ~15 years have catapulted us toward our lives now: lives full of love and laughter and living (yep, it's super cheesy, but we actually DO the 'live, laugh, love' you so often see on candles and artwork).

The funny thing? We’re both single. Yes, single. We're alone.

Yet not alone. Alone. Yet not alone.

I know...it's a bit of a mindf*ck.

We are 'alone'...in that we don't have significant others to support and be supported by.

But we're also not alone...in that we have sisters. And friends. And family.

 

On one hand, we both say that living together lately has highlighted how much we miss companionship. The simple tasks you do with another person: cooking, walking, watching movies, laughing (at or with) each other.

On the other hand, we both know that being alone offers freedom, and room for expansion.

The funny thing? I feel less alone now that I’m single. My relationships with friends and family have deepened. I reach out to people I wouldn't have reached out to while I was married. I form connections with people simply because I like them...not because I need to have 'couple friendships,' for example (FML).

It makes me question how much my fear of being alone stopped me from being alone (and subsequently thriving). Yep. My fear held me back from thriving.

So perhaps THAT's the real mindf*ck: feeling alone doesn't necessarily look how you would think. 

Feeling alone can - and does - happen to EVERYONE. If you're in a relationship, if you're single, if you're a crazy cat lady, if you're the most-well-connected entrepreneur in the country. 

My friend, I want you to remember this: we're all in this together. We all feel alone sometimes. And that's okay.

 

Here’s something I want you to consider: what if feeling alone is actually a gift?

Because what we do with it? That's up to each of us.

For me, I am regaining my confidence after my split from my ex-husband. I have a very thin filter now, because I’m truly being more and more of myself, every day. I say what I want and spend time with who I want. Period.

What is it for you? What does feeling alone provide you? If you’re in a relationship or not…we all feel alone sometimes. What does that feeling provide for you? Space? Rejuvenation? Leave a comment below…I would be thrilled to connect with you.

Cheers to you and your aloneness and our togetherness,

Amanda

PS. Want to know something funny? As I was writing this blog post at my office computer, I paused to just think about what to write next. I glanced around my office (it’s a bit chaotic), and my eyes landed on this decal:

‘You are not alone’. It made me LOL. Huh. Right. We make decals that seem to show up in our lives at the right time. And that’s beautiful. (This decal is from our Mental Health Collection…grab one here if you feel pulled to do so.)