The guts to do what you need to do.
In this moment, I know. I sit straight up in bed. It’s a Saturday morning. September 2016.
Today is the day that I choose.
If I don’t split from my husband, I will drown. Not literally. But metaphorically. I will drown in unhappiness. I will lose myself. Or worse...I will never know who I really am.
So I choose. To separate. Even though the comfort of what I know is a strong reason to stay. Ooh, is it strong. But still, I choose the route that I know is best for me.
Today, almost 2 years later? I am so, so, so grateful for myself. Grateful that I had the ovaries to make that choice.
I feel like that was a turning point for me, in terms of my confidence. I used to be shy. Meek. An excellent people-pleaser. I used to think that my ability to be a chameleon in any social situation was a gift (it’s not...it just makes you b*tchy).
But because I made that simple (and yet, not-simple-at-all) choice, I am completely different.
Why? I chose myself.
I’ve realized the ability to choose yourself - over and over - is the key to confidence.
Yikes. I can sense the hair on your neck bristle. ‘Well that’s selfish. Choosing yourself.’ Psssssh…...
You think I’m talking about being selfish?
Nope. That’s not it. But it’s okay...I too, used to think that ‘choosing yourself’ was selfish.
‘Cause honey...nobody else is gonna choose it for you.
The beautiful outcome of choosing yourself (YOUR passions, your career, your relationship and life-in-general status) always turns out really, really well.
It opens up doors. Choosing yourself (and yep, you can 100% do it in a way that is kind, and respectful, if you want) is the best way to create possibilities in YOUR world.
It gives you confidence. You start to think: ‘what?! I CAN do this thing called life, and you know what? I can actually do it really f*cking well, in a way that’s making me happy. What?!’
It’s a continual loop of confidence-building. Choose yourself. Build confidence. Choose yourself. Build confidence.
How do I know this?
Because ever since that initial, life-altering choice to split from my ex? I have continually chosen myself. And my confidence has grown exponentially. (Maybe too solid, sometimes I’m a dick even when there are multiple t-shirts, decals and signs around me telling me not to be. But hey, that’s okay.)
My younger self would be so excited to see where she is now.
And that? That’s all I need to keep going. Bad happy dance, comin’ up.
Now over to you, my friend: where in your life did you choose yourself? Maybe something big, maybe something quiet...but that still led you to greater confidence? I would love, love, love to hear about it. (‘cause heck, to read your story would give me and everyone in our community a confidence boost too...and that’s a beautiful gift!)
Leave a comment below, and tell us.
Lots of badass love,