That damn silver lining. You know it’s always there, in any situation. But it only seems to become apparent with distance, space, and time - months or years down the road. When you’re in the thick of anything, it’s difficult to see the light.
In the year and a half since the split from my ex-husband, I’ve gained distance, space, and time. I’ve gained clarity about what happened, about who I am, and about what I need/want moving forward. But occasionally, tendrils of anger, bitterness, and resentment pop up.
“Can you help me?” I ask my friend. “I’m struggling with the financial side of things in this divorce. I’m bitter.”
“Absolutely,” she replies. “What’s up?”
“As I finalize the divorce and see the numbers we signed off on a year and a half ago, I feel the urge to vomit. His return on investment in those 5 years of working together was very good. It makes me realize how badly I wanted out. But I wish I wouldn't have rolled over so easily. I’m feeling bitter. But I want to move on.”
“Are you feeling like he got more than you did?”
“Yes. Exactly. What did I get out of all of it?”
“Well babe, I think you got the realization that you’re never changing again to fit someone else’s expectations.”
There it is. The realization that I learned one of my biggest life lessons by the age of 35? That’s a huge ROI. I just needed to step back - and the loving smack from a friend - to fully see it. Well then. I can let it all go. It’s time.
This is what I want to remind you, just like my friend reminded me: Those silver linings are always there. It’s also okay to not see them when you’re in the middle of the shit. But just keep holding on to that thread, even if you can’t fully see how or why. It will become clear soon. Maybe even sooner than you think.
Does this resonate with you...that there are always silver linings? If so, leave a note below...I’d love to hear from you.
PS. This will likely be the last blog post where I mention my ex. It’s cathartic and often the most charged portion of my life (why all the feels come out in my writing). But this type of drama only really takes up approximately 2% of my life. Moving forward, I’m writing about the other 98% of my life. That’s where the good stuff is. :) Thank you for being part of this journey, and staying for the next part!