Goodness Blog

Never apologize for taking up space.

Do you ever just observe people? If you’re like me, you let people simply talk. And while they talk, you listen. But you also observe them. Not in a creepy way. But in a simple ‘what else is going on here?’ kind of way. I do it as a way to dig deeper. Because I’m so curious about people, I try to get to know people better. And I often notice things.

This week, I’ve talked/observed with many, many, many people. And one theme I’ve noticed? We’re afraid to take up space.

This week, I met brilliant women while on my road trip. These women are kind, generous, feisty, and open-hearted. They know their worth, most days. They create worth in the lives of those around them, all days.

Yet, they physically shrink a bit. They hesitate, hold back, and slouch...all as a way to not take up too much space. Physically and metaphorically.

Ooooh, amazing women. I know that feeling. I do it too.

Why? At 5’11”, I am tall. I have always ‘taken up space,’ whether I liked it or not. When I was younger, I would slouch, especially at lake parties, to fit in. I didn’t want to be noticed for my height. ‘Please, please don’t look at me and comment on my height.’

From a metaphorical perspective, I learned early in life that it was easier to shrink. To not rock the boat. To fade into the background. I think most of us learned this, right?

But what if we - both you and I - chose differently? What if we practiced standing up straight? What if we visualized our presence as BIG? And then felt that presence expanding outward?

Because what if that simple act, of taking up the space that we need and deserve, brings us more joy? More fulfillment? And WAY less willingness to take on other people’s shit?

The more I practice this, the more I notice amazing people drawn into my life. Other people that are willing to take up the space they need...and rock the boat if needed. This results in greater capacity to create and collaborate, and that is a humbling, beautiful feeling.

Have you ever noticed this? And what has this brought up for you? Are you:  ‘hell yes!!’ Or : ‘nah, I’m still struggling with this.’ Let me know in the comments below. As always, I’d love to hear from you. Your perspective is valuable and BIG.

Yours in taking up ridiculous amounts of space and giving zero f*cks about it,