It's Going to End.
BAM. This is a beautiful and gentle kick in the ass, from my twin sister Adrienne. Sometimes, you need a hard lesson to see the beauty each day...right?
The background: I've asked a few women to write guest posts for our Grounded Goodness blog, and they have responded with love and generosity! Over the next few months, you will see their answers to this question: "What is one thing you would like women to know, right now?" - Love, Amanda
It’s Going to End
by: Adrienne Perrot
I never would have pegged Jason for a teacher. Independent, adventure-seeking, and exquisitely sarcastic, Jason is not the type to sit you down and make sure you understand what you need to learn. But yet, Jason taught me THE greatest lesson I have ever learned.
Jason taught me that it’s all going to end.
It’s all going to end.
Although Jason and I dated a long time ago, I still remember very clearly the couple of days after we split up. I remember thinking, “What a damn shame. If I had known it was going to end, I would have had WAY MORE FUN.”
The grief that arose was not in the relationship ending; it arose because for years, I had in front of me a very fun human being. Jason and I were like best buddies – exploring, laughing and going whitewater rafting. Subtracting our romantic incompatibility, it was just really fun.
And then it was over.
I had spent four years in our relationship wondering, “Will Jason and I stay together? Will we ever resolve our patterns? What can I do to make this better?”
I spent years stressing about where our relationship was going and what was going to happen. I tried to fix it, to fix myself, to fix him. I did not embrace the fun; I embraced the anxiety. I spent the entire relationship stressed about what was going on.
And then it was over.
In my grief, I first forgave myself, and then I promised myself to always remember – it’s going to end.
I have seized this lesson HARD. It’s all going to end.
I remind myself, as best I can, to ask myself the question – “If this thing that is hard right now were to end tomorrow, what do I truly want to do with this today?”
I apply this lesson to the here and now.
I’ve recently moved to Moose Jaw for a job. I’m excited about the job but a bit unsure about Moose Jaw. Is Moose Jaw where I want to put down roots? Maybe, maybe not. But here’s the truth – the Moose Jaw chapter is going to end. 6 months, 6 years, 60 years…my Moose Jaw chapter will end. As such, you can bet I am seizing the day. I am actively choosing to explore this city. I am slowly meeting new people. I know where the health food store is and where to drink beer in a cool little pub. I watch the deer and squirrels in the park I overlook from my balcony. I go sit in the mineral waters and eat sushi at Mitsu. And perhaps most importantly, I am using my new job as an opportunity to contribute to water protection in this province. Indeed, I am soaking up every single thing I can learn about water at my new job and ohmygosh, this work is actually kind of amazing and I’m working with world-class specialists and I read legislation for fun because I want to know who controls water.
(This is the view from my office window, overlooking the Temple Gardens hotel and mineral waters. The Snow Birds, based in Moose Jaw, often fly by my office window. I’m seizing the experience!)
I’m a single lady who really would love to have a relationship with a great man and be a mother to a couple of goofy kids. It’s a vision I’ve always had; a kind and deep man who helps me figure out how to raise two little kids while we travel and do really cool work. I don’t have that right now, and when I’m feeling lonely, I wonder if I ever will. However, in my single and child-free days, I am SEIZING THE DAY. I have a big bed to starfish across and weekends to sleep in. I take photos, and paint, and read beautiful books. I have the luxury of focusing entirely on myself. I don’t do this to wait for my family; I do this because Adrienne solo time is going to end. I am seizing every single second of my single life. After all, you can bet that once I have that family, I will get all the sleep…never.
Yup. Every day, there are things I can worry about. All the things, really. But even though I worry and I wonder, I actively try as best I can to remember that it’s all going to end. As the Jason chapter taught me, I now ask: Where is the fun right here, right now, today?
And I go find it.
Much love from Moose Jaw,
Want to see more of Adrienne? You can find her on Instagram - @adrienneperrot - and on her website: adrienneperrot.com. I want to send a big thank you to Adrienne for these wise words! Leave a comment if you loved this blog as much as I do!
PS. Adrienne's favorite decal collection? The Sparkle & Shine Collection, because "the sayings completely capture all that is important, and the decals are so beautiful!" Want to be like Adrienne? Get your own here. :)
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